Day 57 - Healing Lady

"Please let me help you. Come inside."

Even if I was on half a heart I wouldnt go inside the shack with that woman. Just saying. XD

Day 56 - Your On A Boat

"They have taken you to the Imperial City's prison, first by carraige, and now by boat. To the east, to Morrowind. Fear not, for I am watchful. You have been chosen."

Day 55 - Deckard Cain

"Hello my friend. Stay awhile and listen..."

Day 54 - Warning About Magic Users

"Trespassers could die a quick and certain death or they could be invited in for stew. Thank you for thinking better of disturbing my privacy."

Day 53 - The Infamous Goat

"It says here you're perfectly suited for a career as a Waste Management Specialist. A specialist, mind you, not just a dabbler. Congratulations!"

Day 52 - Enter The Storm

"This is your territory, is it? I might have guessed. No, stop talking, and let me tell you what we're going to do to fix it up. "

Day 51 - Things That Go Bump In The Night

"As long as monsters have prowled the darkness, brave & desperate mortals have walked out of the protective ring of firelight, to pursue those shadows. Some die. Many go mad. But someone else always picks up the candle, and steps into the dark......."

Day 50 - Guilty Again

"You might be a gamer if.......you've ever designed your own character sheets."

In a very failed attempt to make RIFTs a bit easier to play, I tried designing an easy to fill in character sheet for the system. 

If you have ever played RIFTs you know the horror I went through.

Day 49 - Dont Piss Off The GM

"A blue bolt from heaven strikes Harold the Whiner, reducing him to one hit point. 

Anybody else got a problem with this campaign?"

Day 48 - Black Holes & Barney

"The Goblin Wars Lasted 13 Moons....."

This game was the mother fucking shit back in the day. Normally I dont curse on here, but this was THE game that got me into rpgs. Before Final Fantasy VII I played warriors of the eternal sun on the sega. I remember I rented this from blockbuster, & loved it so much but wasnt able to rent it again for a long time. Eventually my mom got me it for my birthday when blockbuster was selling old games, but the battery on the cartridge was worn out so I wasnt able to save. 

I had to BUILD a strategy guide over a summer for this thing(think I still have it somewhere) & eventually after a 14 hour straight play through beat it. 

Epic . As. Hell.

Day 47 - What Is Love?

"Love is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope"

Day 46 - Wheres My Stapler?

"You might be a gamer if.........you have more than one photocopied bootleg of a gaming text" 

I am guilty of this one. I think I have 5 or 6 binders at this point full of game books that I either cant find or haven't bought yet. Though I recently got a hardcover of one, so I can toss the pages of that one out. 

Day 45 - The Wrong Thing Is Right

“It’s the sensible, logical thing to do, of course, which is why we don’t do it.”

Day 44 - Stupid Is As Stupid Does

" I don't care what you are doing, so much as the idiotic way that you are doing it. - Vincent, Final Fantasy VII"

Day 43 - The Old Man

"An archmage often can react poorly to interruption. Please reconsider before it is too late." 

The original old man himself. Elminster of Shadowdale. This guy was in alot of the forgotten realms campaign books & novels back in the day. The original old grouchy wizard of D&D legend. Second only to gandalf himself. Need I say more?

Day 42 - The Non Magic Hobo

  "This campaign is dumb, everybody is more powerful than my first level vagabond."

See I love rifts, but this is very true about the game. The classes are NOT balanced. I started with this system in role playing, & ran my first game ever on rifts. Needless to say it was a trial by fire, & one of the hardest campaigns I have ever run. Even after geting alot of expierence with it running rifts can be a chore without house rules, & character creation has to be very careful, so everyone knows that the classes are not balanced. 

So if your ok being the human who can only cook, sing, & dance amongst superhuman powerhouses......then your should be fine.

Day 41 - The Bane Of The Galaxy

"Gnomes in space, more annoying then a pile of tribbles"

Day 40 - Famous Last Words

"They're only kobolds!" 

 

 

Been playing alot of pathfinder lately, & we have been going through the first module of Kingmaker, Stolen Lands. Needless to say finding a gnome who was reincarnated into a purple skaled kobold was highly interesting. 

I even befriended a little kobold named Mik Mek. That is of course after we saved him from the Mites(insectoid race) who held him prisoner & tortured him. And then killed the reincarnated gnome. 

Day 39 - My Eidolon Needs Healing

"Paladin, lay hands on my bone snake."

Day 38 - Did you really say that?

"I cant possibly botch on this roll"

This is why we cant have nice things. True story, one of my players said this right before his character lost his arm,  then broke both his motley & freehold pledges(changing the lost). Numerous clarity checks later he is left totally screwed & having to cut deals left & right just to be able to continue playing the character. 

For those not familiar with changeling, clarity is like your sanity. He made 3 checks & managed to save each time(barely), & pledges are magically enforced agreements. So breaking those agreements hits you with a supernaturally enforced punishment, that lasts a really long time & costs you lots of things. 

At least it cant get any worse right? (I think I just jinxed his character) XD

Day 37 - No I'm on YOUR side

"Put enough points in bluff & you dont need a combat skill"

Day 36 - Barbarians, Alchemists & Turkeys, Oh my!!

"Druid Turkey Is Tasty To Your God"

So long story short this came up in the pathfinder game. We marched our asses into the woods(me the barbarian body gaurd & the dim witted alchemist I protect) following the trail of people we are supposed to work with to stop an evil wizard. 

I find evidence of a druid fighting the party in a battle(very high check on the identifying tracks). We then enter an area filled with WAY too many wild animals, & the forest is glowing green. 

A TURKEY jumps out in front of us in the path & gobbles loudly. Sense motive tells me that this is not the norm for a turkey & it is obviously trying to scare us away. Then the dim witted alchemist yells "DINNER!!!" & I put my hand over his mouth. 

While druid turkey is tasty to your god, druid turkey will get you one really pissed of druid trying to maim/kill you very fast. Long story short, theres a reason the alchemist has a barbarian bodyguard. ^_^

Day 35 - The Timer Has Begun

"Dawn of the First Day, 72 hours remain."

Day 34 - What do real space marines yell?

"For The Emperor!!"

Ran a warhammer 40,000 demo over at the LGS today. It got me thinking about dark heresy, the warhammer 40k rpg. I have always wanted to try that one out, but havnt had the time to. So many games, so little time to play them.

Day 33 - Its always good to have a backup

"What do you mean, how many hit points do I have?"

Always always have a backup character planned. It will make it so much easier for you & the group when your awesome character bites the dust finally. If you hear the above words & dont have one ready, well I think its time to start brainstorming.

Day 32 - DAMN YOU LAHARL!!!

" Do you want me to give human kids an addictive video-game that will deprive them of their sleep? "

Day 31 - Let Me Teach You Of French Kissing

"Decapitation!!!!! There......it is dead. Now let me teach you of french kissing"

One part ozz fest. One part grand theft auto. One part RPG & action hack n slash. Brutal legend has it all. And the one liners keep you laughing the whole time. I mean what other game has awesome wild animals called Steel Quilled Ground Urchins, Raptor Elk, & Razor Boars??!!