Day 61 - Hell Is Other People

"John loves Betty. Betty wants to rectally violate John with a crowbar"

Apparently these days is sucks to be john!! This was one of those quotes I couldnt resist, out of the new Vampire The Requiem book "The Danse Macabre". 

The book offers new systems for altered forms of morality to replace the old humanity system that we use in core Requiem games now. One of these is called "Hell Is Other People" & basically gives your relationships with other people in your day to day workings health levels. Every time you fuck them over in some meaningful way those levels go down till Betty is at lowes picking out blunt instruments with you in mind. 

But this I gotta say, before I realized what this was in reference to in the book, just idly flipping through pages, out of context this phrase made me bawk a double take. That is a really bad mental image!!!

Day 60 - Set to the Tune of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius

" Pillage, rape, and loot and burn, but all in moderation.
If you do the things we say, then you'll soon rule the nation.
Kill your foes and enemies and then kill your relations.
Pillage, rape, and loot and burn, but all in moderation."

This was simply put, too awesome for words. I am tempted to roll up a bandit leader simply for the joy of being able to sing this with a bunch of merry men. 

Day 59 - The Holy Grail Of Gaming Jokes

"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

Who hasn't made some joke referenced to monty python & the quest for the holy grail at a table top game? You know you are truly an old person when you crack a Holy Grail joke & none of the players gets it. True story this happened to me. 

Day 58 - Its Cool To Be Dead

"Victory for Sylvanas."

Ok. I'll admit it. I played wow. For about 6 or 7 months. I mainly soloed an undead horde warlock up until my computer could no longer handle the expansion. It was fun, & I had my fill, but I doubt I would ever go back to playing it even if I had a computer that could. 

Though I LOVED undercity. It was just really cool looking.

Day 57 - Healing Lady

"Please let me help you. Come inside."

Even if I was on half a heart I wouldnt go inside the shack with that woman. Just saying. XD

Day 56 - Your On A Boat

"They have taken you to the Imperial City's prison, first by carraige, and now by boat. To the east, to Morrowind. Fear not, for I am watchful. You have been chosen."

Day 55 - Deckard Cain

"Hello my friend. Stay awhile and listen..."

Day 54 - Warning About Magic Users

"Trespassers could die a quick and certain death or they could be invited in for stew. Thank you for thinking better of disturbing my privacy."

Day 53 - The Infamous Goat

"It says here you're perfectly suited for a career as a Waste Management Specialist. A specialist, mind you, not just a dabbler. Congratulations!"

Day 52 - Enter The Storm

"This is your territory, is it? I might have guessed. No, stop talking, and let me tell you what we're going to do to fix it up. "

Day 51 - Things That Go Bump In The Night

"As long as monsters have prowled the darkness, brave & desperate mortals have walked out of the protective ring of firelight, to pursue those shadows. Some die. Many go mad. But someone else always picks up the candle, and steps into the dark......."

Day 50 - Guilty Again

"You might be a gamer if.......you've ever designed your own character sheets."

In a very failed attempt to make RIFTs a bit easier to play, I tried designing an easy to fill in character sheet for the system. 

If you have ever played RIFTs you know the horror I went through.

Day 49 - Dont Piss Off The GM

"A blue bolt from heaven strikes Harold the Whiner, reducing him to one hit point. 

Anybody else got a problem with this campaign?"

Day 48 - Black Holes & Barney

"The Goblin Wars Lasted 13 Moons....."

This game was the mother fucking shit back in the day. Normally I dont curse on here, but this was THE game that got me into rpgs. Before Final Fantasy VII I played warriors of the eternal sun on the sega. I remember I rented this from blockbuster, & loved it so much but wasnt able to rent it again for a long time. Eventually my mom got me it for my birthday when blockbuster was selling old games, but the battery on the cartridge was worn out so I wasnt able to save. 

I had to BUILD a strategy guide over a summer for this thing(think I still have it somewhere) & eventually after a 14 hour straight play through beat it. 

Epic . As. Hell.

Day 47 - What Is Love?

"Love is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope"

Day 46 - Wheres My Stapler?

"You might be a gamer if.........you have more than one photocopied bootleg of a gaming text" 

I am guilty of this one. I think I have 5 or 6 binders at this point full of game books that I either cant find or haven't bought yet. Though I recently got a hardcover of one, so I can toss the pages of that one out. 

Day 45 - The Wrong Thing Is Right

“It’s the sensible, logical thing to do, of course, which is why we don’t do it.”

Day 44 - Stupid Is As Stupid Does

" I don't care what you are doing, so much as the idiotic way that you are doing it. - Vincent, Final Fantasy VII"

Day 43 - The Old Man

"An archmage often can react poorly to interruption. Please reconsider before it is too late." 

The original old man himself. Elminster of Shadowdale. This guy was in alot of the forgotten realms campaign books & novels back in the day. The original old grouchy wizard of D&D legend. Second only to gandalf himself. Need I say more?

Day 42 - The Non Magic Hobo

  "This campaign is dumb, everybody is more powerful than my first level vagabond."

See I love rifts, but this is very true about the game. The classes are NOT balanced. I started with this system in role playing, & ran my first game ever on rifts. Needless to say it was a trial by fire, & one of the hardest campaigns I have ever run. Even after geting alot of expierence with it running rifts can be a chore without house rules, & character creation has to be very careful, so everyone knows that the classes are not balanced. 

So if your ok being the human who can only cook, sing, & dance amongst superhuman powerhouses......then your should be fine.

Day 41 - The Bane Of The Galaxy

"Gnomes in space, more annoying then a pile of tribbles"

Day 40 - Famous Last Words

"They're only kobolds!" 

 

 

Been playing alot of pathfinder lately, & we have been going through the first module of Kingmaker, Stolen Lands. Needless to say finding a gnome who was reincarnated into a purple skaled kobold was highly interesting. 

I even befriended a little kobold named Mik Mek. That is of course after we saved him from the Mites(insectoid race) who held him prisoner & tortured him. And then killed the reincarnated gnome. 

Day 39 - My Eidolon Needs Healing

"Paladin, lay hands on my bone snake."

Day 38 - Did you really say that?

"I cant possibly botch on this roll"

This is why we cant have nice things. True story, one of my players said this right before his character lost his arm,  then broke both his motley & freehold pledges(changing the lost). Numerous clarity checks later he is left totally screwed & having to cut deals left & right just to be able to continue playing the character. 

For those not familiar with changeling, clarity is like your sanity. He made 3 checks & managed to save each time(barely), & pledges are magically enforced agreements. So breaking those agreements hits you with a supernaturally enforced punishment, that lasts a really long time & costs you lots of things. 

At least it cant get any worse right? (I think I just jinxed his character) XD

Day 37 - No I'm on YOUR side

"Put enough points in bluff & you dont need a combat skill"

Day 36 - Barbarians, Alchemists & Turkeys, Oh my!!

"Druid Turkey Is Tasty To Your God"

So long story short this came up in the pathfinder game. We marched our asses into the woods(me the barbarian body gaurd & the dim witted alchemist I protect) following the trail of people we are supposed to work with to stop an evil wizard. 

I find evidence of a druid fighting the party in a battle(very high check on the identifying tracks). We then enter an area filled with WAY too many wild animals, & the forest is glowing green. 

A TURKEY jumps out in front of us in the path & gobbles loudly. Sense motive tells me that this is not the norm for a turkey & it is obviously trying to scare us away. Then the dim witted alchemist yells "DINNER!!!" & I put my hand over his mouth. 

While druid turkey is tasty to your god, druid turkey will get you one really pissed of druid trying to maim/kill you very fast. Long story short, theres a reason the alchemist has a barbarian bodyguard. ^_^

Day 35 - The Timer Has Begun

"Dawn of the First Day, 72 hours remain."

Day 34 - What do real space marines yell?

"For The Emperor!!"

Ran a warhammer 40,000 demo over at the LGS today. It got me thinking about dark heresy, the warhammer 40k rpg. I have always wanted to try that one out, but havnt had the time to. So many games, so little time to play them.

Day 33 - Its always good to have a backup

"What do you mean, how many hit points do I have?"

Always always have a backup character planned. It will make it so much easier for you & the group when your awesome character bites the dust finally. If you hear the above words & dont have one ready, well I think its time to start brainstorming.

Day 32 - DAMN YOU LAHARL!!!

" Do you want me to give human kids an addictive video-game that will deprive them of their sleep? "

Day 31 - Let Me Teach You Of French Kissing

"Decapitation!!!!! There......it is dead. Now let me teach you of french kissing"

One part ozz fest. One part grand theft auto. One part RPG & action hack n slash. Brutal legend has it all. And the one liners keep you laughing the whole time. I mean what other game has awesome wild animals called Steel Quilled Ground Urchins, Raptor Elk, & Razor Boars??!! 

Day 30 - It Inspired It All

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to."

Cant forget the things that inspired the first games of dungeons & dragons, & thus inspired all the following rpgs in gaming history. Whether they are paper & pen, or digital mmorpgs. All rpgs pay homage to a certain hobbit, a grey wizard, & a quest to destroy an evil ring.

Day 29 - In the Begining

"This is it. This... is your story. It all begins here."

I thought this image of superman was fitting for this quote. Even though its a quote from auron in final fantasy ten, its the same way we all feel about our characters we make & play. The excitement, the jump in head first mentality we all take in those first few moments. 

Then again it could be I just wanted a cool image. ^_^

Day 28 - Evil Is As Evil Does

"Its good to be Bad, Its better to be evil."

Day 27 - Tell Me a Joke Wadsworth

"Two cannibals are eating a clown, one cannibal looks to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?"

Day 26 - Never Come Between A Dwarf & His Gun.....Or Booze

"You'll take me blunderbuss when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!"

Day 25 - I'd Like You To Say Hi

"Meet the Creeper"

And you thought I was talking about a Rob Zombie song. No but seriously, these little bastards freak me the hell out. What with their exploding & destroying of all the gear you have built for your home/base. Fuckers. 

Day 24 - Thy Blood Spill Upon The Floor To My Mouth?

"What? Oh, man, and you're a God damn Malkavian too. Wow, you really are fucked."

Who didnt want to play a batshit insane vampire back in the day? I know I certainly did & still want to if I ever get to play an old world of darkness Masquerade game one day. 

Day 23 - Statement: Just a simple droid, here, ma'am. Nothing to see. Move along.

 

"Translation: He requires proof of good faith. We must make a contribution to his people that shows we are not a threat. Shall I blast him now, master?"

 

 

Gotta love the evil ever comical NPCs you pick up along the way in a quest.......ahhh good times.....

Day 22 - Remember How Scary The Butcher Was?

"Ahh, fresh meat." 

Seriously this son of a bitch scared the shit out of me when I first played diablo. He was a mean bastard!!

Day 21 - Siblings and Sorcery!!

"What? You dare defy her whims? She is the Game Master! You are her pawn! She controls your fate! "

Anyone who has watched the episode of Dexters Lab called D&DD should get this reference. We have all ran into GMs who seem to want to mess with us sheerly for kicks, & if we havnt, we have heard the horror stories.

Day 20 - President Lincoln Is An Ape???!!!

"Looks like I failed my save vs stupid plot twists."

Cause you know we have all fallen prey to these at some point. Theres nothing worse then running into something that really screws the pooch on the plot of a campaign.

Day 19 - ERROR ERROR

"Natural Ones Happen"

Day 18 - Obey Them

"The Rules, they may be stupid, arbitrary, & irritating, but god help you if you break them"

Day 17 - He did WHAT??? Oh to hell with it......

"Sometimes all you can do is draw your weapon, say "Fuck It" and see what happens."

How many times have you been backed into a corner, no clue whether to negotiate, run, or fight......then just get frustrated & say to hell with it? Next thing you know your swinging hard & praying for natural 20s. 

Ahhh those are good times.

Day 16 - So My Options Are To........Run Away?

"If the GM has you outnumbered 15 to 1, hes trying to tell you something."

I am guilty of this one from time to time. I tend to run games in which the players are not neccesarily heros, but they are trying to survive really bad situations. Sometimes though players think that because its a game they can just truck through & not worry.

Not so all the time. Sometimes when your faced with a group of horribley pissed off vampires, or demonics forces are appearing everywhere, its a better choice to GTFO.

Day 15 - So I Just Killed Your Family IC

"Hate the character, not the player"

This one bears mentioning for all those people that can not differ between something you do as a character in either a table top rpg or a larp. I used to larp alot last year & found that there was a great deal of people who would treat me and others based on what they did with their characters.

That is simply put, stupid & moronic. We are not our characters, if your anything like me, you like to try new character types that you are not used to & roll with it. I've had friends screw me over in a game hard due to plot & character reasons, to only joke about it later on when not playing the game.

So just realize its a game people.

Day 14 - Sometimes You Just Gotta Throw In The Towel

"No Gaming is Better then Bad Gaming"

This phrase has proven true to just about every experienced gamer out there. You find a group that just doesn't mesh well, or something about the game just isn't doing it for you. Sometimes it is more worth it to not participate in a game rather then trying to "suck it up". Forcing yourself to play merely because you want a good game never works. 

Day 13 - Level One Is About Staying Alive

"At level two you get to say Whoops, but then you have to sleep."

This was from tonight's pathfinder game. As we discussed how level one was all about surviving, and how level two there was some room for error as long as you got to rest afterwards.

And yes I got to use color spray. Those bandits didnt have a chance.

Day 12 - Need Any Dead People Raised?

"A real friend is the one with the 5,000 gp diamond when you fail your fort save."